Day 12, 30 day writing challenge

Today is a day of reflection, for many reasons. Good reflection, sad reflection, victorious reflection. Today is the 71st anniversary of the Invasion of Normandy, also known as D-Day. WWII, ugliness, power struggle. When I think of this day, I often find myself referring back to Saving Private Ryan. I had the opportunity to sit near two gentlemen, strangers, who were at Normandy that day. I was just behind them and in the opening scenes I could see them wiping their eyes and remembering. Then one of them just nodded and said "yep". It was a clear sign that this was as close as the rest of us were going to get to seeing the horror of that day. I'm not a fan of war. I could never be in the military, I wouldn't survive, but I appreciate those who are and were, and the sacrifices they make to keep this world safe. Not just Americans, but our Allies as well. Britain, Canada, etal. No matter how one feels about this, it is fair to give a moment of silence for those in WWII who gave their lives, to save us from the clutches of maniacal evil.

Onto a brighter note...we have good reflection. Tonight is my cousin's graduation dinner. He is the son of my older cousin, but still, I can remember back to the day he was born, now, he is out of High School and ready to begin his life. Where does the time go? When I ask this, Sis Laura always snaps a finger, a gesture that says, *in a flash, it's gone*. Tonight we will celebrate my little cousin, and send him into life with our best wishes and intentions for his future.

Of course there is victorious reflection, well sort of. Will we have victorious reflection? Will American Pharaoh be the first horse in 37 years to win the Triple Crown? Affirmed was the last, but that was his greatest claim to fame, since everyone always seems to go back even further to Secretariat, 1973's (YAY! Great year!) Triple Crown winner. I am not a big horse racing fan, but I do follow these races, provided there is a reason to follow it. I do find it funny that the songs played before the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness are songs steeped in tradition, then you get to Belmont and you get to hear Frank Sinatra singing New York, New York. I love it, but it does crack me up and at least I know the words to that song.

My sis used to be a horse trainer and competitor in horse shows, you know the ones where they jump gates and man made ponds. I apologize, I have no idea what the Equestrian event is called...or was that it? Anyway, it's fun to watch her get so nervous before these races. Deep breaths, exhales, hand wringing...the whole shebang. When you think about it, you can't blame her, this is after all the only sport where a champion is not guaranteed every year.

So will there be a Triple Crown winner today? I guess we'll see...and they're off! OMG! OMG! OMG!!! WE HAVE A TRIPLE CROWN WINNER! THE 37 YEAR WAIT IS OVER!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! SOOOO AWESOME!!!! :D

Until tomorrow...thank you for sitting through another day of complete random, all over the board, thoughts. *thumbs up* You deserve a high five.

From a personal journey to...

I have blogged off and on about a personal journey I have been on for about a year or so. It's nothing earth shattering for anyone but me. I hate to say it, but I kind of became a cliché. Indeed, I had become that person who needed to find themselves. One of my favorite quotes along the way came from Tolkien, "Not all those who wander are lost". It kind of contradicts my previous statement, well not kind of, it does, because I talk about finding myself, but truly, I knew where I was all the time. Are you confused yet? Think of it as standing outside of your body inside a hall of mirrors. Like a carnival there are images of you everywhere, but only one of those images are you. So you go about seeking the solid figure and along the way you hit dead ends, walls, other mirrors with images of yourself and so on, until you finally stop, breathe and realize if you look at the mirror in front of you, there you are. You stop trying so hard...

Journey to 40 Day 1.

Well the title is misleading, because my Journey to 40 began on January 10th, but in an attempt to turn my blog into something more than just a random thought or picture, I decided that maybe if I document my day to day trials of weight loss and getting my heart into better shape, it might help me to stay motivated, because this isn't just about being healthy and fit, this is about saving my life. I was born with Tetralogy of Fallot. It's several things, but most importantly it entails a hole in my heart that in my case was coupled with a crushed valve. I had a dacron patch placed on my heart's hole (insert pun or joke here) and according to recent tests, the pig valve I thought I had, turned out to be a reconstructed valve. At least that is what we all have come to believe and I prefer to not be opened up to find out. That said, my life has always been slightly different than other kids. For what seemed like an eternity, but was only about 8-9 years, I walke...

Coping in the aftermath...mama is gone...

People keep asking me, "how are you?", or they keep saying, "I can't believe how strong you are", or "how well you are holding up", but the truth is, I feel like a mess inside. I'm no different than anyone else though. I hurt, I feel pain, I cry. I mourn, but I suffered through depression for twenty years, many of them without medication and I learned that by suppressing my feelings, they just fester and burst out like a bottle of Coke that's been shaken and the cap left on. I'm not strong, I just have a good, tight fitting mask, that comes off every night when I crawl into bed and goes on every morning before I step out of my room. Actually I take that back. I do feel like I have gained a little bit of something I never had before, my Mama's strength and the I'm-not-going-to-take-your-sh*t-attitude. Yeah, she wasn't big on swearing, hence the *. I guess it is a little shout out to her, since I am sure that even though I ...

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