Day 30...Bucket List...30 Day writing challenge.

"...And I really don't care if nobody else believes, I've still got a lot of fight left in me." -Rachel Platten, Fight Song.

My sissy Jo shared this song with me a few days ago, after her second round of chemo and I found that this song is so suitable for so many situations (especially hers). We often plan our lives when we're about ten, what we will be, who we will be, etc., but more often then not, life throws a hurdle in our way and dreams that we had as kids, suddenly become 'Bucket List' items. Dreams that we are now daring ourselves to accomplish, as if trying to trick our brain into doing the right thing for ourselves...achieving what we often deem to be the impossible.

My cousin Marie, is my inspiration for today's blog and appropriately enough, the last one of my 30 day challenge. Despite being younger, she is an inspiration to me, because she takes the reins in her life, makes no excuses for what happens in it, and does her best to balance what is important to her. She had a dream when she was fourteen years old and today, thirteen years later, that dream came true...she auditioned for American Idol. She did what many of us can't bring ourselves to do, face our nerves and make a check on a bucket list. She put it out to the world what she wanted and though it took some time for it to happen, it happened, so maybe patience is also the key to the Bucket List, that and believing in a thought.

My bucket list isn't too long, mostly being published and visiting countries with history and other things you might think silly. About two years ago I was tagged in one of those keep calm posts, it said, 'Keep Calm and move to London'. Needless to say, it made me giggle and then it made me think. It was sent to me by a friend who knows how much I want to travel abroad, but I have done nothing to spin this list into motion except dream and daydream about it, as for my cousin, she can say she scratched a very important item off of her list.

What is a bucket list? One part dream, one part action and two parts believing in what your heart is telling you. Life is scary, sure, but what fun is it if we play it safe? How many Bucket Lists go unchecked, or not even halfway fulfilled, because we hold ourselves back? If you can dream it, you can achieve it. There may be no telling how long it will take, but never lose heart, because as long as you are breathing, anything is possible.

Take the one thing on your Bucket List that you think you will never get to and put it at the top and make it a point to get it done.

My 30 days might be up, but writing is my passion and this is an outlet for me that I enjoy. I have learned so much over the last 30 days, like not quitting when you're so close, and not giving up, the key component in success. Find your path and do not stray from it. You might detour from time to time, because that is life, but when you can, get back on that path and continue your journey....

Until tomorrow....Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. Exhale. Truly see the beauty in the world and make your dreams happen, so you can check it off of your bucket list.

From a personal journey to...

I have blogged off and on about a personal journey I have been on for about a year or so. It's nothing earth shattering for anyone but me. I hate to say it, but I kind of became a cliché. Indeed, I had become that person who needed to find themselves. One of my favorite quotes along the way came from Tolkien, "Not all those who wander are lost". It kind of contradicts my previous statement, well not kind of, it does, because I talk about finding myself, but truly, I knew where I was all the time. Are you confused yet? Think of it as standing outside of your body inside a hall of mirrors. Like a carnival there are images of you everywhere, but only one of those images are you. So you go about seeking the solid figure and along the way you hit dead ends, walls, other mirrors with images of yourself and so on, until you finally stop, breathe and realize if you look at the mirror in front of you, there you are. You stop trying so hard...

Journey to 40 Day 1.

Well the title is misleading, because my Journey to 40 began on January 10th, but in an attempt to turn my blog into something more than just a random thought or picture, I decided that maybe if I document my day to day trials of weight loss and getting my heart into better shape, it might help me to stay motivated, because this isn't just about being healthy and fit, this is about saving my life. I was born with Tetralogy of Fallot. It's several things, but most importantly it entails a hole in my heart that in my case was coupled with a crushed valve. I had a dacron patch placed on my heart's hole (insert pun or joke here) and according to recent tests, the pig valve I thought I had, turned out to be a reconstructed valve. At least that is what we all have come to believe and I prefer to not be opened up to find out. That said, my life has always been slightly different than other kids. For what seemed like an eternity, but was only about 8-9 years, I walke...

Coping in the aftermath...mama is gone...

People keep asking me, "how are you?", or they keep saying, "I can't believe how strong you are", or "how well you are holding up", but the truth is, I feel like a mess inside. I'm no different than anyone else though. I hurt, I feel pain, I cry. I mourn, but I suffered through depression for twenty years, many of them without medication and I learned that by suppressing my feelings, they just fester and burst out like a bottle of Coke that's been shaken and the cap left on. I'm not strong, I just have a good, tight fitting mask, that comes off every night when I crawl into bed and goes on every morning before I step out of my room. Actually I take that back. I do feel like I have gained a little bit of something I never had before, my Mama's strength and the I'm-not-going-to-take-your-sh*t-attitude. Yeah, she wasn't big on swearing, hence the *. I guess it is a little shout out to her, since I am sure that even though I ...

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