I was born an only child, but I found while this can be a double edged sword growing up, ie, sole control of the remote control on Saturday mornings, but no one to play with when other kids aren't around, I did find that as an adult, it gave me the opportunity to fill my sibling-less void with people I handpicked.
Two people that immediately come to mind are two of my best friends that even my family refers to as my sisters. Laura and JoAnn. They have been my rock in different situations, gathering me up and putting me back together in their own ways. Laura suffers from RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, Aka CRPS, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome), JoAnn has been in round two of battling breast cancer for six years (first fight against cancer was in 2005).
Laura's RSD attacks the central nervous system. I know in an earlier blog post I mentioned this horrible affliction, but now I am including a link. You really should read up on it, because it is a horrible, but relatively unknown disease. Click here to read what the Mayo Clinic has to say about it. RSD/CRPS. The symptoms can be excruciating during a flare-up that, in my sisters case, has lasted from a day to three weeks. Sometimes she says she feels like her body is on fire from the inside out, to the point where anything touching her skin is painful. Many doctor's do not know how to diagnose this and often times tell patients it is all in their head. Chronic Pain sucks and needs to be taken more seriously. Laura's RSD went into remission in the 1980's, with a little bit of a residual case left behind, but in 2005 after back surgery, it came back and with a vengeance. She still has yet to go into remission and suffers often from flare-ups.
JoAnn, well, JoAnn was initially diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2005. She did chemo, she did radiation, she went into remission. Three years later, a more aggressive form of Breast Cancer struck her, Her2+. They diagnosed her at stage 4 and that is right after she found the lump. Six years later, she is still fighting the good fight. She has faced death, she has held her head high and she has persevered.
So now you know their plights, but that's just it, they don't see it as such. Laura tries to advocate for RSD, JoAnn for Breast Cancer. Neither complain about their afflictions, though they suffer daily from their battles. My sisters are the definition of strength and a positive attitude, which seems to get them through each day, but they are not alone. I am blessed with many friend's, but some not without their own medical conditions. One friend has lupus, Lupus - Mayo Clinic, and Fibromyalgia, Fibromyalgia - Mayo Clinic, that she was diagnosed with in her 20's. Another just went into remission after battling cancer, though she is still dealing with the after effects, she's in her 30's, another battles a thyroid disease and she is in her early 30's. Even the mom of my 'brother from another mother' suffers from chronic pain.
I could go on and on...but they are positive. They are adamant that their diseases, which clearly shows no discrimination to age, will not get the better of them and I attribute their spirit (and survival) to positive thinking. They hurt, they cry, they suffer alone sometimes, afraid to "trouble" a friend with what they consider their woes, but it is a woe we should share with those that need us, but they always remain positive when around people. We are quick to lend a shoulder to someone in tears, but oh how often the people that suffer from these diseases say nothing to anyone and they keep to themselves.
I have known my sisters long enough to know that looking in their eyes, is truly looking into their soul and spirit. I have learned their nuances and their movements when not well, but it took me a long time. Too long. If we pay attention, we can lend that shoulder. Even if they say nothing is wrong, a smile, or a hug (providing they are not "flaring") can make their day. It just takes someone to listen to them and believe them. When it comes to cancer, don't look at the person with sympathy, give them a smile of strength, a smile that says, everything is going to be okay, even if you're not sure it will be. That is one of the places where they find their strength, in being treated as normal as possible.
I'm not sure how much this makes sense, or how jumbled it was, but it's the best I have today. After talking to my Sissy Jo on the phone, her resilience shining through the phone call, as we talked about her post hospital release recuperation. She almost died, again, not from her cancer, but from complications, however she persevered and hurdled that obstacle like an Olympian running towards the finish line. She is determined to go into remission and we are determined to see her through every step of the way.
Sick or not, give a loved one a hug. Call your parents and tell them you love them. Call a friend or sibling, Handpicked or Natural, and just chat. Life is about experiences and sharing those journey's with people you care about. So make each moment count. I am the youngest of the "three sissy's" and I know that I look forward to my sissy Jo calling me "little one" for a long time. Or combined, my two sister's referring to me as "brat", a term of endearment of course. *wink-wink*
Until tomorrow...
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