Today's mantra: I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.
This one speaks for itself. I have spoken about letting go of things that do not positively serve, you in the past blogs, forgiveness of a person or a situation, can help you do this. We all have a lot of things that we can forgive to help us move on and I was reminded of that tonight.
I have had to do a lot of forgiving on this journey, from people that hurt me, to myself for not believing more in me, and situations changed my life. That is right, a situation can be forgiven, because forgiveness isn't just about making someone else feel better, it is about making you feel better. If someone else is given a reprieve, because you chose to forgive, even better.
Tonight I was reminded of an anger I have carried inside for a long time. Almost seven years ago, on December 8, 2008, one of my best friends, that was a soul sister to me, was re-diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer, she succumbed to her cancer this last summer. On May 19, 2014 my mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, four months later she was gone, and two months after that an extended family member, Aunty Patsy, succumbed to her cancer as well. Now more extended family (by extended I mean, not related, but might as well be family), were diagnosed with Breast cancer, one of them is the daughter of the Aunt that died.
I hate cancer, but to hate something is just feeling the negative vibe, so tonight, after hearing my mom's name red at the Purple Light event, supporting Pancreatic Cancer awareness, I chose to forgive cancer, so I can effectively help "wage hope" to find a cure, instead of continue to wallow in my grief. PC is one of the least researched cancers and does not have a high success rate. My theory on low success is because the symptoms can be tricky. Since there was no history in my mom's family, she was told she had IBS, that was four months before her diagnosis, but truth be told she was probably already stage four by then.
Forgiveness doesn't always cure you of the pain, you have to work through that on your own and I will leave a meditation at the end that might help, but forgiveness does help you acknowledge the pain and start the path to healing and to finding peace within yourself and your heart.
The meditation: As with the other posted meditations, breathe in to the count of five, and out to the count of eight. Let's begin. Breathe in peace. Breathe out Forgiveness. Breathe in courage, breath out fear of letting go. Breathe in hope. Breathe out worry. Now breathe naturally and for a few moments focus on what or who you would like to forgive. Then imagine a light lifting from your body. This light is your pain and anger from the situation or person you are forgiving. Imagine this light lifts into the air and like a firework it explodes, your pain from the situation or person you are forgiving, becoming a sky of shimmering lights, that cast a special glow upon you. Feel yourself becoming lighter and lighter. When you are ready, open your eyes and think about how you feel. Write it down, if you like, so it is out of your system and mind and out of your life.
Things that do not positively serve your everyday being, should not have a place in your life. It will stifle you, it will hold you back and it will make you feel less than. Let it go. Also, don't beat yourself up if you can't rid yourself of this anxiety the first time. Sometime situation require a lot of forgiveness and a lot of work. If it is something truly traumatizing for you, I suggest counseling. A paid professional can help you through some of your darkest moments. Even counseling groups, or meet-ups can help. Please remember this though, you are not alone. We all have situations that need forgiving and they are all relevant to our lives and becoming whole beings.
Until tomorrow....love yourself and trust yourself. Feel the emotions you are releasing and allow the forgiveness to heal you.
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