I'm baaack! WJ2-40.D12-D17

Hmmm. Well so much for keeping in touch on a daily basis. My follow through on things really should be an annual New Year's Resolution...but then why make myself predictable, eh? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I tripped myself up with my trip to Vegas for the Knapp/Thomasson Wedding, but I'm not overly concerned, since I also did A LOT of walking and some of it completely intentional (Ie. keeping up with a moving walkway, while I am walking on the carpet!).

We left at 11:30p Saturday night, arriving around 3am or so in the morning on Sunday. I actually liked doing a midnight drive that went somewhere other than LA, though don't get me wrong, I love the midnight drives through the City of Angels. It's never dull and always filled with laughter, sometimes tears and good conversation. This midnight drive though was nice, because all of the sister's were involved, as we headed to Sin City for JoAnn's brother's wedding.

Ahh, the wedding (insert lots of hearts here!). We went to the 'Viva Las Vegas' Chapel, where anyone from Merlin or King Arthur to the standard favorite Elvis, can preside over your nuptials. Steven and Nicole opted for a traditional, non-themed wedding, complete with a little garden gazebo and a preacher that looked like he stepped right out of church. It was a beautiful ceremony that clocked in at just around 10 minutes (my favorite...short, but sweet and to the point!), with the exception of some jackwad who clearly did not see the posted signs that said "Shhh. Wedding in Progress" with a little smiley face guy holding a finger over his mouth. Of course what is a sweet ceremony without someone blaring heavy metal music?

Now, don't get me wrong, I like all sorts of music, but seriously, mind the signs, because people want to remember their day for the beauty and love that it is, not the jackass and his radio. I also personally loved that 'Nicole & Steven / Married 2-12-12' flashed on the sign above the chapel doors out front, so people could drive by honking!! Super awesome. :)

The trip was a wonderful, but short sister trip. JoAnn and I spent sometime at the Casino's (2 1/2 hours!), while Laura stayed back. Normally I don't like to gamble, but watching JoAnn play Blackjack was fun! She did really good for the first time on her own.

Needless to say, we didn't get back until 11pm Monday night, so I think we're all still like the walking zombie two days later, leaving us asking, "is it Friday yet?" and leaving me to try to get back on my walking schedule. tsk tsk. But just remember this, buffets are buffets and you can eat well at a buffet. I did well when we went to the one we went to after the wedding (minus the two Cosmopolitans I tried for the first time ever). Perhaps, instead of piling on the food, simply take a little of two things, then go back for something else. Not only are you able to eat what you would like, you are also walking back to get it and just for kicks, try to sit as far from the food as possible and speed walk up there. But don't make too many trips, or you defeat your purpose. It also helps to have a Sissy like JoAnn, who keeps steering you AWAY from the dessert counter....and yes, I did have a little dessert, a slice of lemon meringue that I shared with Laura.

Until next time...which should be tomorrow....

From a personal journey to...

I have blogged off and on about a personal journey I have been on for about a year or so. It's nothing earth shattering for anyone but me. I hate to say it, but I kind of became a cliché. Indeed, I had become that person who needed to find themselves. One of my favorite quotes along the way came from Tolkien, "Not all those who wander are lost". It kind of contradicts my previous statement, well not kind of, it does, because I talk about finding myself, but truly, I knew where I was all the time. Are you confused yet? Think of it as standing outside of your body inside a hall of mirrors. Like a carnival there are images of you everywhere, but only one of those images are you. So you go about seeking the solid figure and along the way you hit dead ends, walls, other mirrors with images of yourself and so on, until you finally stop, breathe and realize if you look at the mirror in front of you, there you are. You stop trying so hard...

Journey to 40 Day 1.

Well the title is misleading, because my Journey to 40 began on January 10th, but in an attempt to turn my blog into something more than just a random thought or picture, I decided that maybe if I document my day to day trials of weight loss and getting my heart into better shape, it might help me to stay motivated, because this isn't just about being healthy and fit, this is about saving my life. I was born with Tetralogy of Fallot. It's several things, but most importantly it entails a hole in my heart that in my case was coupled with a crushed valve. I had a dacron patch placed on my heart's hole (insert pun or joke here) and according to recent tests, the pig valve I thought I had, turned out to be a reconstructed valve. At least that is what we all have come to believe and I prefer to not be opened up to find out. That said, my life has always been slightly different than other kids. For what seemed like an eternity, but was only about 8-9 years, I walke...

Coping in the aftermath...mama is gone...

People keep asking me, "how are you?", or they keep saying, "I can't believe how strong you are", or "how well you are holding up", but the truth is, I feel like a mess inside. I'm no different than anyone else though. I hurt, I feel pain, I cry. I mourn, but I suffered through depression for twenty years, many of them without medication and I learned that by suppressing my feelings, they just fester and burst out like a bottle of Coke that's been shaken and the cap left on. I'm not strong, I just have a good, tight fitting mask, that comes off every night when I crawl into bed and goes on every morning before I step out of my room. Actually I take that back. I do feel like I have gained a little bit of something I never had before, my Mama's strength and the I'm-not-going-to-take-your-sh*t-attitude. Yeah, she wasn't big on swearing, hence the *. I guess it is a little shout out to her, since I am sure that even though I ...

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