Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be wound a little tight sometimes. Although I love the little things in life, it is the daily annoyances (ie. Traffic, rude people, etc.) that can toss me over the edge on some days. I am not sure what makes each day different from the next, in my mind anyway, but I do know that some days are rougher than others to get through.
As of late, my cousin has inspired me to reach deep within and start weeding out the negativity that has been left behind from all sorts of things in my life, including past relationships, and the deaths of my mom and one of my best friends, who was like a soul sister to me. I am a Capricorn, so I tend to hold on to things. What can I say, I give a good glare. *Shrugs shoulders*. However, a good glare, or a left over vibe from some moment gone wrong, is not conducive to my heart health. Yes, the little ticker is running mighty fine, like a well tuned car, but reality is, she is a repaired girl and can do with less stress, so I can remain healthy for a very long time. That being said, I have begun to read up on things like chakra's and meditation and all sorts of other neat things that I never really paid attention to before.
Don't worry, I am not going to start preaching at you, or start humming, or break out a Tibetan bowl...I will leave all of that to the experts. What this blog is going to be about is getting me back in touch with my writing, while learning to balance my soul, before I grow horns and hooves with a plot for world domination. Also, I don't have a Tibetan bowl, I was just trying to sound smart, like I know what I am talking about. ha!
I say this, with complete honesty, that I believe everything happens for a reason. A friend taught me this about ten years ago and it has taken that long for me to try (almost) successfully to apply it to my life. As we grow up and are conditioned to the world around us, we learn to adapt and while one person's way may be just fine to them, my way should have hit the highway.
I can be a very sensitive human being. Until recent years I never allowed myself to tap into the strength that I was raised with. I was awkward and geeky growing up and sadly, that was not the "in" thing when I was trudging through my youth. I was made fun of, called names left and right, and pretty much lost all self-esteem by the time I entered high school. I mention this, because it conditioned me to think that I am not good enough. That I don't belong in this world. That I am not fit to be with anyone. I know now, that's wrong. I am always hemming and hawing about finding Mr. Right, but how can I be a good match for him, if I don't even think highly of me? So what does this have to do with "everything happens for a reason"? Well, not too long ago I was talking to myself and wondering aloud, "what can I do, to help myself grow?" and everything, including the reintroduction to You Tube, began to fall into my path.
I have always known it is there, I have had the app on my iPhone for as long as they have had one, but I never utilized it. You Tube is like a complete universe of its own. How to's, what not to do, stupid, idiotic things people do...that we laugh at (guilty of laughing). Commercials, cartoons, Stage plays, musicals, movies that you love and can't find...it's all there. What is also there is the road to enlightenment for those of us who don't know where to start in the yellow pages, but even better, there are differing opinions from different people, all about the same subject. By differing, I mean, what one person says, another might approach it differently and for people like me, I take the different knowledge, fuse it together and come up with some sort of Chakra Balancing-Meditation fusion. It's food for the soul.
At the beginning of September my cousin and I were talking and she told me her Chakra's were out of balance. Even though we live far away from each other, modern conveniences allow us to talk daily, so we started a path down the same road to balance our chakra's, exchanging and sharing information, as well as my beautiful cousin re-introducing You Tube into my life (one day she will be successful with Pinterest). What a difference a few weeks make. I started with my Root (Go Forth with courage!), moved on to my Sacral (purr-rurr) and now I am at my third (of seven) chakra, the Solar Plexus (peace is power).
While looking for a meditation for the Solar Plexus, which I have been studying at lunch for three days now, I came across yet another 'Channel', a channel that had done a 30 day meditation challenge. Well, I needed this because I am one of those amazing people who gets so relaxed, I fall asleep while trying to meditate. Imagine those videos with cute animals that make you giggle when they fall asleep and fall over...yeah. Me. Like a tree in a dense forest. Boom. That being said, I figured maybe this would help me. I also hoped that it would help me overcome the wandering mind. That blob between my ears travels more than I do.
Long story short, the first day challenge was a success. I did not fall asleep. I learned I can be in correct posture, with a straight spine and still (yeah, it's crazy!) be relaxed. I learned that it is okay for thoughts to come on in, but that you simply acknowledge them and then re-focus on your breathing to bring you back to where you were. I was also taught that with practice and within a week or so, my mind will begin to wander less and less without me and soon I will have a clear mind. It must be working, because I am resisting the urge to throw myself under the bus, though it would have been a funny toss.
So, in typical fashion, and because my blog seems to be walking the fine line of sharing and narcissism, I will be blogging for the next 30 days about my journey through the process of learning how to meditate and make it a natural part of my life.
Am I going to run away and join a religious colony? BIG No. Am I going to become some guru and wander the world with just the clothes on my back preaching. No, I love modern conveniences too much. Am I hoping to become enlightened on my path that winds through my own journey? Yes.
I am sharing this not just to be sharing it and to let people in my life know what I am up to. I am hoping that like these video's it reaches someone and shows them that even when we are conditioned by our peers to believe that we are not worth it, it is the words of our close family and friends that we should be listening to, and more importantly what our heart tells us. Your heart will never lie to you.
My ticker and I are not perfect, nor are we striving to be. We're just looking for balance and to find a place in this world that we belong. This could possibly be the first step to the second phase of my life. A life where the little annoyances bounce off of me like a rubber cherry ball. Sometimes they might sting, but the mark is temporary, as is the pain.
Here is to finding my balance. Here is to anyone finding their balance.
Until tomorrow....Have a beautiful day.
We'll find our balance together <3
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