Need a tip? Don't let Social Media kill your self-esteem.

This is my fifth draft on this subject and I find that the more I rewrite this, the less redundant I seem to become.  I'm also a little less cynical, since my first draft. I am trying to take the more positive approach to life, what can I say? New Year's Resolution? Probably, but that's a topic for another day.

So, let's get to the nitty gritty of the subject line.  Do you ever feel like you are ignored or 'not worthy' when on Twitter?  Maybe even Facebook?  I have a friend that does when it comes to Twitter.  Yeah, okay, it's me, but Facebook isn't my problem, in fact, I know personally 99% of my Facebook Friend's, because I don't just friend anyone, which is also why I don't look like I have many friend's on there. *shrugs*  Besides, that's what Twitter is for...

From time to time I like to comment or retweet things I see.  I don't expect a response or a like, but when I don't get one, I think 'Oh Crap, did I step over the line?"  "Should I have not Tweeted that?"  "Am I becoming one of those people that talk to people like they're on an actual first name basis with someone?"  I promise, I don't judge, though that last comment did seem rather judgmental, but let me explain.

People that are right out there, they either have real self-esteem, or they have Social Media Self-Esteem.  You know, that version of self-esteem that says, 'Well no one really knows me, and they're tweeting, so it's harmless, and I will just be myself."  I can be a serial over-analyzer, though I am getting better at not being this way, Twitter was just my last train stop to real self-esteem, ie, not giving a shit about what other people think.

So all that being said, here's a few tips to not let Twitter, (or Facebook), bring you down to your knees, begging for the Social god's to have mercy on your soul.  This is what I learned, today.  Yes, I said today.  Epiphanies come fast and quick in my six foot circumference of energy.  Like a brick to the head (never had that happen, but you get the metaphor right?)

1.  Don't take things Personally.  Social Media is an outlet for people to express their opinions, from the common man, to well known people.  I can't tell you how to interact with people, but if you engage in a debate, it's fair to not expect someone to just jump on your side because you think you are right and don't 'hate' them, because they have an opinion or continue to disagree with you. 

I am not one to openly debate someone. Instead, I am one of the lucky ones, that when I hashtag and someone doesn't agree, they let me know it and then proceed to tell me how wrong I am.  First, it is my opinion, secondly, I respect yours, but please don't try to change mine.  If I change my mind, it's only because I am seeing the validity in your opinion.  I am sensitive, so when I am being belittled, it stings me a bit and that is something I have to learn to let roll off my back, because social media is not for the faint of heart.  It is a good practice in patience though. Fortunately it doesn't happen to me much, but I do see it happen to other people in my Twitterverse and I can't help but make a face every time.  I might even agree with the person whose comment is sparking a range of looks on my expression, but it's not my place to tell people how to think about a certain subject (except this post, because it is helpful. So BOOM. I know, hypocrite. HA!).

So again,   please (times three) do not  take things personally. Just let it go and go on with your life, because the only person it is probably affecting, is you.

2.  Don't wait for a response.  Believe it or not, this really isn't a problem for me.  Well up until today. Like I said, I used to think, "geez, did I say something wrong?"  Well, in my opinion, here's the truth, people are busy.  Sometimes they see people's tweets, other times, your tweet falls to the wayside.  If you are tweeting someone with a large number of followers, an actual response, unless tweeting someone directly, might get lost in the shuffle.  It's not their fault, it's not your fault (unless you say something mean and you get blown off, because who wants to see that?) and if you do direct Tweet someone and don't get a response, don't freak out, it's not the end of the world.  Stop, take a deep breath, remember that your Tweet, seen or not, is now out of your brain and posted for public consumption. 

Replies aren't mandatory, they're nice, like a treat, but not mandatory, so don't over-analyze it, because the only one that will pay for that is you.  Yes, you, again.  Say what you want to say (BE NICE), and then be on your way.  Personally I found that my no longer commenting or liking Tweets, might be beneficial to me anyway.  It's dramatic, and will probably last about two days, but once my own advice sinks in, good to go on that whole 'going on my way' thing. :D

3. Don't make social media your life. While it is nice to see how other people live, outside of your group of actual people, and it is refreshing to see how different people are, for example some might be inspiring, others might be making you think twice about the donut you're about to eat, or that thick piece of chocolate cake, while others might be driving you to either of those options, don't make it your world.  Step away from the box of electronic rays slapping your face. 

Take a step back and look around you.  What you see is your world. If you don't like it, change it.  Yes, it is that easy, if you have the courage to take that step. If you do like it, but it feels monotonous, do something new to make it less challenging to make it from day to day.   If you are one of those people perfectly content in your day to day life, but have that need to see what everyone else is doing, then so be it, you're content, no reason to find a solution.

Do try to find some point in the day, where your face isn't buried in your phone.  Enjoy your life, look around and see the amazing things happening to you.  Opening a door for someone can be an amazing experience, because you're sharing your good nature. Even if they don't say thank you, you did good.

So to sum it up, these may not seem like the sure fire way to not let Social Media kill your self-esteem, but it is a start.  This was my epiphany that I am sharing with the world, because tip #2 was my own downfall.  I am one of those crazy people that like to be liked.  In fact, in my own mind I am hilarious, but people don't know me from the stranger next to me, so to expect anything from anyone, is just, in my opinion, silly. 

You might agree. You might disagree, but remember, the actual people in your circle, they're your friends because you are likable and that is what should matter when you lay your head down on your pillow at night.  Perhaps you might make a friend through Social Media. I have made several and some have become great friends. 

Social Media can be a fun place, or it can be what you make it.  I tweet and facebook, because I am a goofball (see my bio of the last few months on Twitter. It's simple and to the point).  I have learned to say what I feel, not worry what others think, and to just be me.   I can do this now in my 'real' life too, because I understand now that people are either going to like me, or not bother with me and those that choose to not bother with me, well, one of us is better for it.  ha!  Also, if am worried about a comment I want to make, I don't post it, because it probably shouldn't be shared to begin with.  Some thing's are better left unsaid.

So, Tweet responsibly, don't judge others, allow people their opinions, debate with an open mind, and take care of you.