Capricorn Tales

I am grateful for my ability to follow my own road and to not follow the major consensus, because it is "cool".  I have always walked to the beat of my own drum, my family inspiring my "uniqueness", since I was a little girl, but as I grew older, I began to hide who I truly am, a goofball, who only wants the best for those I know and don't know.   I am not perfect, or exceptional in any way, but I am opening up and learning to stand in the sunshine.   I am learning to say what I feel, popular opinion or not, and I am learning that this journey I have been on has taught me how to help heal those along my path, as they have healed me.  My soul is no different than anyone elses, and I have learned the patience that comes with that, since we all evolve at different times.   My mind, my heart, my soul, it wants to keep learning. It wants to find a way to learn and as I type these words, I realize they are just pouring out of me, probably from my heart that i...

Neighbors. I'm fortunate for awesome neighbors, from the couple across the sidewalk, to the neighbor I share a wall with, to my neighbor around the corner from the couple.  They are kind, they are friendly and most importantly, they are friends.   It's not often people hang out with their neighbors...I'm lucky I can. Just a few more days and I'll be writing about random things again, so hang in there.   I'm not a quitter, so I have to follow this through.  Until tomorrow....

Meditation.  The one thing on the journey that I have come to appreciate so much.  Even if for a moment, inhaling and exhaling can be so healing, so purifying.  There's a sense of freedom that you can feel and explore when clearing your mind.  I owe a debt of gratitude to this ancient practice.  Until tomorrow...mind your patience. It will make life easier. 

I am grateful for my family.  I am grateful for the car that got me to San Diego and back home, so I could spend Thanksgiving with my family. I have gratitude in my heart and I will do my best to keep it there.  Until tomorrow...appreciate ______. 

today i am going the e.e. cummings route and stticking with the lowercase.  i'm thankful for the full moon.  The illumination. the energy. its all around beauty ss it lights up the night sky.  My cousin told me she thouht her son was howling at the moon last night, to which i thought, well werewolves can be cool too, i suppose. long story short, since I am tired this evening and it's now the 26th, the moon holds so many meanings.  Space travel and moon landings.  metaphysical properties. busy emergency rooms from the overly energized, or just a perfect circle in the sky, glowing down on us and saying hello, look at how beautiful I am. Until tomorrow...go outside and bask in it's awesomeness.

My sincerest apologies, I don't really feel like blogging today. I don't think it is that I have nothing to write, I just don't have the passion for it at this moment and that is a tough pill for me to swallow, since I love to write and I killed it during lunch hour when I wrote an entire chapter (right!?).  So today, I am thankful for you, my reader, maybe I have more than one, and perhaps even people that don't know me read this.  Thank you for coming back to enjoy it, or to see if it ever gets better (haha), whatever the case may be, I appreciate it.  Everyone's time is worth a fortune, so for you to take time out of your day to read this blog, well, it makes me smile (big smile!). Until tomorrow...Please know that I have gratitude in my heart and my spirit for those who read my blog. <3 *hugs* XOXO

Dear Diary, Throughout my teenage years I had a tendency to give my parents grief...maybe even before those years.  However, now that I am an adult, I find that no matter how hard I resisted, my parent's loved me anyway.  Mom and I had it the roughest.  Dad once told me, with a chuckle, "one day you and your mother, will be very close and you will look back on these days and laugh."  Well, dad was right.  We may not have always looked back on those days fondly, but we did chuckle about them from time to time. I won't lie, I was the average teenager. the average rebel and the average offspring. I didn't do anything overly exciting with my teenage years like play sports, or be in the school play, though I did want to be, shyness overwhelmed me in that department, but I did become a writer then.  I lost myself in fantasy world's and action stories, where I was the hero of the story, instead of being the hero of my life, but that role was taken....

I  Am Just Grateful. I am sorry, I have nothing more than that today. Nothing I feel might be considered profound.  I am just grateful.  Until tomorrow....

"Always laugh when you can.  It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron What an honest statement, and true too.  How often, when we are feeling blue, that laughter hasn't helped, even if only for a moment?  I know there is science behind the reason that laughter makes us happy, but that is the great thing about the human make-up, built in cures for certain ailments. There are times when laughter is hard to come by, but here is some advice.  Advice I learned the hard way.  If you are feeling down and someone says something that is funny, don't feel guilty, laugh.  If you have lost someone and someone brings up a funny memory, that you think is funny, don't look down upon them, because you think the timing is wrong, just laugh, because it is healing.  There is plenty of time to be sad and to mourn, but don't do it forever, because wouldn't you rather be happy?  It doesn't dismiss your feelings of loss, or the sadness you feel, but it is cheap ...

Yesterday Sis Laura surprised me and bought tickets to see 42nd Street tonight.  I am so excited! I love the theater. I don't get to it enough, but I would like to.  The last play I went to was 'Over the Rainbow' with Tracie Bennett. I tagged along, but it was soo good.  So yes, I am grateful for the theater.  The last musical was 'Mamma Mia' with my cousins, for a 'cousin outting'.  That was fun too.  I love Abba...yes, it is my dirty secret. hehe! I have seen tweets about the theater this week and honestly that is not why I am thankful for it, I have been meaning to blog about it for sometime, but I guess everything happens in the divine right time, yes?  Good. That said, let's get rolling with the gratitude. Why do I love the theater? It takes a special person to do the same show day in and day out, sometimes up to eight shows a week (6 days with a matinee) and give their best.  When I studied drama, I enjoyed it and I am so lou...

I know that some of the things I seem to be thankful for might seem trivial, but I will say it now, my family, my friends...I love them all and I am grateful for them everyday. I cherish each one of them and I don't feel the need to blog about that every day.  Over the course of my blogging life, I have mentioned them in one way or another, so there, that is today's disclaimer, because today's gratitude...well...I think I might get some eyerolls.  Remember, I am blogging about being thankful in the moment.  I am grateful for coffee and tea.  Growing up I was never one for either, I was a cocoa person to be honest and yes, I still partake in that little cup of heaven.  In fact, when my dad was told he would have to start drinking decaf I said to him, "What's the point?  It's like drinking near beer."  Of course, as you all know, I got demoted to decaf too, though I do sneak a full or half-caf from time to time when extremely sleep deprived....

I will keep this short since it is the 19th now, I am grateful for sleep! I slept almost straight through the night. Yay! Until later today...hang in there, it's day 19 I'll hopefully post something interesting. ;)

From the moment I started talking to my buddy, and carpool pal Janice on the way to work this morning, I knew what I was thankful for....her fresh perspective.  I know that no matter what I run by her, I am always going to get the answer I need to hear, not necessarily the one I want to hear. Janice has helped me grow as a human being.  Helping me become less sensitive, when people are brutally honest, as well as just being a much needed sound board at times.  She can be loud, she can be crazy, in a fun way, and she can be right up in your face, but she is who she is and I admire her for that.  She may act like she doesn't care what people think of her, but I know she does, because beneath the surface she can be sensitive too...a trait not too many people see and I will probably get slapped for sharing that. Just kidding.  Maybe just the evil eye for giving her secret away. This won't be long, because there isn't much more to say on this subject....

I'll be honest, today has been one of those days that makes finding something to be thankful for hard. Admittedly I haven't been in the best of moods today, so tonight I am just kind of winging this as I type, because I know that the more I write, the better the odds are of me finding something to be thankful for. Have you ever had one of those days that didn't seem so bad, but then it all seemed to fall apart in a split second and you're not sure why or how?  That was today.  I have recently had butterflies and every time I have felt these particular butterflies, something in my life had changed.  Lately it has been for the good, but as someone who is increasingly becoming less resistant to change, and learning to step out of my box, these feelings can be subconsciously overwhelming as I continue to navigate through this journey. That said perhaps what I am grateful for is my new found ability to adapt to these changes, big or subtle.  Sometimes you have to...

  As I mentioned, I am trying to be grateful on a daily basis, as opposed to planning out what I want to write.  That being said, today I am grateful for the ability to drive, to get into a car and head in any direction that I want to.   I was speaking with a friend today about why she doesn't drive, but I know being dependent on buses or friend's or her husband, also means being dependent on other people's time.  When she wants to go to Disneyland, from San Diego, it is friend's or a train that gets her there.    I was also thinking about this the other day, but then news broke about the tragedy in Paris and honestly after that, every other thought took a back seat to the worry and caring you feel for people placed in such a horrible situation.   Every so often, while I am driving, I think about how lucky I am to be doing so.  It might seem trivial, but how trivial is it?  When we need to go somewhere, as in now, we grab ...

Day 14 In the wake of yesterday's tragedy in Paris, I am finding it hard to find something to be thankful for.  I know there are many things, but all I can think of is how those poor people went out into the beautiful Paris evening and now they're gone, because of the hateful acts of others. Along this journey, one of the chakra meditations explained that we must go in love, even towards those with so much hate in their hearts, but how?  I choose to look to the resilient human spirit. Human spirit you ask?  Yes, the man waving the people on the roof of the theater into his attic and into safety, or the Parisians singing the French national anthem in their subway tunnels waving the French flag.  Let us also be grateful for those who survived.  It is they who will bring awareness to this horrible act against France and will remind people that the human spirit, though often fragile, is a hard thing to break. Terrorists believe their way is the right way, bu...

Yesterday I blogged about the journey I have been on.  It wasn't about finding myself, but rather learning how to express my true self freely without worrying about being judged for my thoughts, actions or just all around silliness.  On Twitter my bio reads, 'Professional Goofball' and though that bio might change from time to time, I like that title.  I have learned in this short amount of time that there is a time for seriousness and responsibility, but there is also more than enough time for having fun and not taking life so seriously.  Do I care about the world? Yes. Do I care about issues in the world, Yes.  I am still human, I still have opinions, but what I try not to worry about anymore is some one's opinion of me, that was always my biggest downfall and I am not alone, because many of us have this issue. So, after that long winded opening, what am I grateful for?  I took so long to get to the point I had to look at the subject line to...

As the majority of you know, last September 2014 I lost my mom to Pancreatic Cancer.  She passed within 4 months of her diagnosis, because, well, she had been misdiagnosed, but let's be honest, only 6% of those who battle Pancreatic cancer will make it to the 5 year mark and that is the life expectancy.  What I haven't mentioned, is my soul sister that died from Breast Cancer this last June, the cancer had begun to attack her pancreas.  I don't think I need to say anything more about that.  It was still breast cancer, but you can see how testy and moody the pancreas is. After my mama passed, I vowed that I would do what I can to help bring awareness to this terribly underfunded cancer research and, as Pancan.org  says, WAGE HOPE.  Cancer in general is a bitch and it sucks, but everyone deserves a fighting chance and we can only make that happen by bringing awareness to this cause. Tomorrow I will be walking in honor of my mom at the OC...

Day 12...it's hard to believe how fast this month and year are flying by and yet, January 2015 seems like a world away.  Funny how that works isn't it?  So what am I thankful for today?  Well, at the risk of beating a dead horse from other blogs, I am grateful for the journey I have been on for the last 8-10 months. It started on my birthday in January when I decided that this year was going to be my break out year. The year I broke out of my chrysalis and began to soar.  I am a late bloomer, or perhaps I am blooming when I was meant to.  My mind has been my biggest obstacle and situations that presented themselves to me when I was young, left me with a dinged self-esteem, but eight months ago to this very day, on March 12, I vowed that I was going to start on the right path and stick to it and as challenging as it has been, I have. I took my writing more seriously and I became much less afraid of living my life and learned to believe that I deserve ...

I want to thank all of our veterans today.  The ones I am related to, the ones I know, the ones I met today (thank you!) and the ones I do not know.  Not just today though, I thank them everyday.  These are people who put their lives on the line for us to keep our country safe.  I also want to thank the servicemen and women world wide, not just in the USA. What many of us see when we see a soldier is going to war, and we know how tragic that is, but what we don't see is how these people try to put these places and people back together. How they show them humanity while they all face grim situations.  It is in my opinion that these soldiers and their families deserve much more respect than they receive.  Until tomorrow...remember why you get to live your life your way, say what you feel about whatever you are passionate about and why you can say freedom freely.  💞

  I am grateful for my soul sister, Miss Laura.  Who says you can't pick your own family?  Both only children, we are tight like any set of sisters would be, that being said, she can read me like a book and I hate it. haha! Okay, not really, but it can put a crinkle into a an evening event.  We were supposed to go and see her King's play tonight, but on my way home from work, I told her I would just need to stop for some coffee, because I needed caffeine.  "Are you okay to go tonight?"  She asked me with genuine concern, since it's a good forty-five to fifty minute drive from here without traffic AND I was asking for caffeine, not half-caf or decaf.  I told her yes, because that kind of drive is nothing to me, but she knew better and she grounded my Jet engine's and made me stay home.   As we all know, my sleep patterns are comparable to Interstate 5, unpredictable, so I am grateful that my sister called me out and more than likely kep...

I was in bed thinking about my day when Vaughan Williams, 'Fantasia on a theme by Thomas Tallis' began to play.  My tastes are eclectic when it comes to music, but new or old classics, always have a soft spot in the music chamber of my heart.  This song can evoke so many emotions, depending on how you are feeling, which lead me to what I am thankful for. So often we take for granted what seem like regular or small things, but when you no longer have it, the intensity of the loss can be great.  That said, I am grateful for my health.  My heart beats fine and strong and sometimes it sings an extra note with an extra beat, but what am I if not abnormal, haha!  I am also grateful for my vision, my sense of smell, my sense of taste, my gift of speech.  I am grateful for my motorskills...how often do we take for granted the ability to even text a message?  Or to feel the warmth of someone's touch?  I am grateful for my legs and feet, that get me fr...

Today I dedicate this blog to Sissy Jo.  Today would have been JoJobean's 47th birthday and she lived every moment the best that she could.  I am forever grateful that I spent her last night on earth with her.  It was like old times when we had a lot of Sissy sleep-over's, watching "ghosty" shows, chatting, being sisters.   That night she told me her dreams for me and what she was sure would be my reality for the future. What people didn't see was JoAnn's fight.  When it was posted on Facebook that she had passed away, so many of my own family and friend's commented that they didn't even know she was still sick.  In fact, she was on her way to do payroll when she collapsed, the afternoon she passed away.  She had set-up a makeshift office at home, because her dedication to the work and people she cared about, never stopped. JoAnn was re-diagnosed in December 2008.  She had been in remission for almost four years when breast cancer came ba...

Sudafed.  Excedrin Migraine. Friends.  Three wonderful things to be grateful for. I began this day with head pain, but thanks to everything that is bad for me, my head feels better and I got to finish off my day hanging with dear friend's for a birthday dinner.   Oh, that four hour nap helped too. I'm a little battle weary from the battle with my headache, so bear with me as I keep this short.  Jntil tomorrow...mind your mind, so it doesn't rebel on you and gift you with pain. Happy Birthday, Sonja!

Eight months ago I began a personal journey that has lead my life through a series of ups and down, corkscrews, loops and straightaways and seemingly at full speed.  When it first started I was reluctant, but it felt like something I needed to do and I, for some reason, didn't want to pull me off of the ride.  It is almost as if I was meant to walk this path.  There have been good and bad times. There have been fun and sad times, but as I make my way down this road, I find that I am becoming more and more appreciative of everything around me, including myself. I also find that in every situation good or bad, comes a chance to grow. So today I am thankful for the guidance I have received along this journey, as well as the trust and faith I have learned to have in people.   I am in the finale in this phase of my journey and it is preparing me for a new course, a course that I have worked hard for, that I have learned to have faith in and that I have learn...

I have 25 days left to be grateful for the beautiful and wonderful things and moments in my life, so today I am taking a moment to be grateful for...wait for it...The randomness of Twitter and it's collection of intelligence, creativity, and something's I don't get that make me scratch my head.  It's an outlet for people to be a 140 character version of themselves, or less, if you post a pic.  It's kind of like a people buffet, you can sample their mind and then move on to the next when you're ready.  Until tomorrow...don't facepalm too hard, it hurts.  Don't roll your eyes too much, you might get dizzy.  And don't judge other people's Tweets harshly, because you never know what someone might think of yours.  Be Random. Be you.  Yep, that's it. Shortest Shellymarie blog ever.   Be grateful for that.  

I am grateful everyday for all of the neat things that are a part of my daily life. One of those daily things is a little group I text with. We call ourselves the butterflies and we consist of my cousin Marie, one of her besties Michelle, that I christened cousin last November, and of course me.   They live in Tucson, but distance doesn't stop us from reaching out and chatting each day, even if it is a quick "good morning/how are you?".  We talk about their families, our ups and downs, we vent, we get weepy and well, we just love each other.   There isn't much more that I can say about this, except that right now I think I truly realized the importance of these daily conversations and how special they are to me.   So to my Az girls, I love you both to the moon and back.  I thank you for your ear and your trust in me to share your days, your sorrows, your joys and your happiness and for allowing me to share mine. Even when you two branch off into yo...

As with anyone, sometimes life gets in the way, so my blog is a smidge late, it's only one day, and that's better than two right?  This blog will be short, because (in short), I am grateful for my dad.  Yesterday was his 70th birthday and as I have pointed out before, he always taught me to celebrate the zero years and celebrate he did last night. For those who read my blog on a more regular basis, you already know that Dad and I take our birthday's more seriously (in a fun way).  My mama never did, she said she didn't like the attention, and that's okay too, and although I can't speak for dad, for me it's not about the attention.  I have spent birthday's alone (when it fell on a weekday) and celebrated the heck out of them, because for me it is about another year.  It's a gift.  As I mentioned yesterday, tomorrow is not guaranteed, so if you're going to be grateful for each day, then why not celebrate the marker of 365/366 days passing. ...

I am writing to you from (what is currently rainy) San Diego.  Though born in Hawaii, I was raised in San Diego, so of course it will always have a special place in my heart, even though I moved North.  So, why am I in SD on a work night? Well tomorrow is my papa's 70th birthday.   My dad always taught me to celebrate the "zero" years, because you never know if you will see your next and how true that is.  Two years ago when I turned 40, I started a tradition, a shot at midnight, going into my birthday to step out of my "boring" box.  Tullamoredew (sp?) is my favorite so far.  So what does this have to do with the "not so small things?", well, the fact that I also celebrate the last year of a decade and apparently I do it with others.   Tonight dad brought me out to dinner and I thanked him for letting me have the privilege of being the last meal he will buy in this decade of his 60's, his response, "oh yeah, huh.". My mama passe...

While I sit here talking about meditation and appreciating things, it was me who forgot that this is the month for 30 days of gratitude. Now mind you, we all know we should be grateful on a daily basis, but here in the United States, November is our month to celebrate Thanksgiving, hence 30 days of, well you get the point.  My cousin Marie is the one who reminded me of this annual tradition and we will both be blogging about each day about it.  You can find her blog at Simplifying Mom .  Check it out. *thumbs up*.  I had initially thought about writing thirty things to be grateful for and then picking one a day, but then I decided that I would just fly by the seat of my pants and write about something that happened during my day...I was hopeful today that I could write about something as trivial as the Anaheim Ducks finally winning their second game, but then something amazing happened during the game.  I got a text message from my friend Charlie,...