Capricorn Tales

I woke up this morning to the news that SCOTUS lifted the ban on 'Gay Marriage' and that it was now legal throughout the United States.  Why exactly do we call it 'Gay Marriage'?  Yes, I get the official definition, but I much rather prefer 'Marriage Equality'.  No, I am not gay, I am not a lesbian, I am not a bisexual, or a transgender, or even 'Questioning', I am a simply a straight girl, who understands that marriage is more than just a piece of paper.  It is the official marking of a human relationship, two people who just happen to have the same body parts that want to get married.  I said this about a year ago, and kind of stunned myself at how profound I can be sometimes, but when we fall in love, we are falling in love with our Soul mates, not our Body Mates.  I am in no way trying to influence what someone else thinks, and I can't stop you from being happy or not being happy with this decision, but I am ...

  "...And I really don't care if nobody else believes, I've still got a lot of fight left in me."  -Rachel Platten, Fight Song.   My sissy Jo shared this song with me a few days ago, after her second round of chemo and I found that this song is so suitable for so many situations (especially hers).  We often plan our lives when we're about ten, what we will be, who we will be, etc., but more often then not, life throws a hurdle in our way and dreams that we had as kids, suddenly become 'Bucket List' items.  Dreams that we are now daring ourselves to accomplish, as if trying to trick our brain into doing the right thing for ourselves...achieving what we often deem to be the impossible.   My cousin Marie, is my inspiration for today's blog and appropriately enough, the last one of my 30 day challenge.  Despite being younger, she is an inspiration to me, because she takes the reins in her life, makes no excuses for what happens in it, and does h...

Well, I must say, once again Masterpiece Theater, the USA's way of showing British television drama's that have already aired the previous season in the UK, does not disappoint.  Poldark, a revived version of the show from the 1970's (I read that somewhere), has had new life breathed into it.  I was pulled in from the first scene.    I love a good underdog story and I can't wait to immerse myself into this one.  So many good period drama's on TV now....I feel like I am in heaven.  Thank you, UK, for creating good programming (oh and our American Producers that spawned another show I wrote about early on in this challenge.  No, you have not been forgotten).    Special thanks to my dear dear friend Michelle, who gave me the heads up on this one about two months ago.  For that long I have waited for this show to start and again, not disappointed.  Also, thank you to my pals, The Sligh Family, who reside out...

  As I sit here typing this blog, my mind can't stop racing through the details of my new story.  It feels good to find that passion again and I have a feeling this one will lead to the ones I have had in my mind and have written a million different time, for almost 20 years.  A story that has continually morphed, up until ten years ago, when the idea was firmly locked in place.  This one just happens to be a branch-ling (new word!? maybe?) from that story, but I think it will help me figure out where I am going.   Sometimes writing can be my addiction.  Seriously, instead of working I would rather be writing and truth be told, I might find myself mentally focusing on something other than work, but I can't help it. It's my passion and one day I hope to be good enough to be successful at it.    I have signed up for another online writing course and I think this one might do the trick....

Father's day. The day we shower love and affection on our father's and bask in their manly glory. Was that too much? Haha! Okay, so it is a day of things our dad's want to do, but every so often, mine surprises me. My dad, at least with me, isn't overly expressive when it comes to emotions, but Friday on our way home from dinner with Jan, he said to me, "you didn't need to get me a present. You are my present." That made my heart smile. When mama died he told me 'we're two peas now', but life changes things and now I share my "pea" with a smart, beautiful woman (Jan) that makes him happy, which makes me happy and she's so sweet to boot. Everyone wins! Yay!  So, to my father, my hero, thank you for always being there, thank you for teaching me so many lessons in life (even if I didn't heed them at the time, I was listening and I did learn) and thank you for just being you and for loving me unconditionally. Until to...

While I still work on reminding myself, 'Enough. Enough now', I find myself reflecting back on today and how life changes on the dime. Today, for my cousin Kade's first birthday, we went to De Anza Cove at Mission Bay. Just over a year ago, in the adjoining park, I took my mama there during Mother's day weekend, so she could get out and get some fresh air.  The Pancreatic cancer was already eating her alive, but we didn't know this yet. Mama struggled to make it half way through the walk, as we stopped at each bench so she could rest, but we took the memory of each other in, as if our hearts already knew what our reality would soon be.   Today was the first time I have been back in the area and it hit my heart hard, yet I realized that, while it left me a bit somber, I also looked back fondly at the day, remembering this was the last time we would do this, but grateful that we did.  I know I ramble on sometimes (on Twitter and Facebook) about my mom, and so...

  There is a great line in the movie 'Love Actually' that seems to resonate with me today.  I am a severe over thinker at times, and in many cases that can spell trouble.  Not for anyone else, but for me.  I start to lose focus, I start to not concentrate on things that are important to me and worst of all, I put me on the back burner and focus on whatever it is I am over thinking about.   As a woman who is single, hoping for the one is hard.  I am content in my life, but of course you always want to find the one that you can share life with.  I had hoped when I was younger that I would have a husband, a family and a nice house with a fence...it doesn't have to be picket, I've seen too many horror movies, those actually scare me. Ha!  Needless to say, life dealt me a bunch of distant or cheating men, some I could classify as assholes, others as just a moment in time, but all were lessons.  I didn't see that at the time, but they were....

My brain is in pain. Mind-Blown and down for repairs. Hope you enjoy this pic I took a few months ago. Until tomorrow...I need to find more aspirin. 

  Have you ever had a day that has left you wanting to bang your head against the wall?  Well, today seems to be my day.  Sometimes I feel like I am stepping outside of my body and having conversations with people that just don't seem to listen, or they don't want to hear what you have to say, because the fear of the unknown is too great for them. So why ask what I think? Because I am a good peep and friend to those I care about. Not tooting my own horn, those are words from my peeps. Apparently I have two good ears attached to my head...though my brain I worry about sometimes. haha!   Back on target....What does any one of us have to lose?  Take a chance, take a leap of faith.  Step outside of your comfort zone, because who knows what might await you in those undiscovered territories that sit nestled in the shadow regions?  A shadow region just waiting for you to bring sunshine to it.    I love people. I often express hatred on t...

I promise this is not another lackadaisical post where I just write a few sentences, post a picture I took randomly somewhere at some time and then hand off the baton to the next day.  This is a post about how I actually surprise myself sometimes.  I love poetry and I love reading books and most of all, I love writing both, but I often get down on myself for not being able to come up with a good blog post...   I wrote this blog, under 'Shellymarie's Thoughts' (my first attempt at blogging), six and a half years ago.  It's clear that I wasn't just writing to meet a challenge, I was sharing a part of me that doesn't see the light of day often enough, and should.   This may not be the most fascinating post you read, but for me it is a journey back into my brain when I just sat down at the keyboard, didn't care what someone thought about my writing, or what I was thinking, and just shared a random thought that crossed my mind thanks to a book...

The open road.  The road ahead.  Life is a highway.  Let the journey begin... Until tomorrow...where are you going? (can't remember which toll road I took this on or when I took it. Lol)

      While driving to work one day a view months ago, I saw this spectacular site.  I have been struggling with what to write and then I saw this picture in my cache of pics.    I feel like this picture is my life...not that my life is gray clouds, but they represent my fear of breaking out and living.  Today I took a step forward in my regards to my writing and I feel like the burst of sunshine coming out through the clouds, or like I am stepping out from behind that curtain and into my life.    Like I said, I am a late bloomer, but again, better late than never.    Until Tomorrow...Start living and don't be afraid to be who you are. <3  

I am making myself finish my book once and for all tonight,  so I leave you with one of my favorite pictures I took with some new fancy app at the time. This is one of my favorite journals and pen. Until tomorrow...dream big and never give up on them.

  Well...after my spill-my-guts session yesterday, I am not sure what to write about today.  HA!  I could tell you about my day, but pretty sure you don't give a rats-ass about that...so...hmm....Insert Jeopardy theme*...Checks watch....paces the room....stares for an unreasonable amount of time out a window...takes a walk...stares at a blank computer screen...stares at keyboard...stares at fingers that should be typing on said keyboard the words that should be appearing on the blank screen....nothing.  Well, I think I might have it....and no, I didn't do any of those things above, I just typed them, one after the other for dramatic purposes. *big smile*   I just received a phone call from a friend in Houston who will be visiting San Diego with her husband.  Though this beautiful town is my hometown, I haven't lived there in quite some time and honestly, I have forgotten many points of interests, save for the typical, Zoo, Sea World a...

This is about as honest I can be in all of these blogs...it is a brief look into the way I wear my heart on my sleeve...it's a short version of this journey I have been on.  Now it is time for a new journey, a journey down a new path paved with sunshine and beautiful scenery. Yesterday was somewhat of an epiphany for me.  Having gone through a ginormous (yes, not a real word) weight loss last year, I found that I had curbed my emotional eating significantly, until the last two weeks, and I couldn't figure out why.  As most of you know, last July, right after Comic Con, I started a weight loss program.  It was a liquid based diet and I lost close to 45 pounds.  I am still on that journey and doing quite well, but every so often, I seem to hit a snag, since I graduated from the program and am basically on my own, save for the love and support I get from family and friends. As most of you know, I started the program during a very emotional time in...

  The music festival.  One to several days of  music and entertainment.  I have been to a few one day music festivals, but after hearing my coworker talk about the four day festival she attended a few weeks ago in her home state of Ohio (Nelsonville I believe), I am now intrigued.  They did the camping experience, which apparently just added to the experience. Good times, fun, family and friends, alcohol and good music.  What more could you want?  Yes, calm your heels, food is implied in the checklist.    According to my friend, there were stages everywhere, including one that I believe she referred to as "the porch", which was a small one room building, where only acoustic music could be played, due to lack of electricity.  She said the place was so small, she and her sister were hanging in through the window.    The whole experience just seems fun and interesting. I mean who doesn...

Well, I am half way through and finding it a bit easier to write these posts now that I am not over thinking and worrying about what people will think.  I was a little torn between writing about a friend moving away and the beautiful music and scenery on some obscure channel on Uverse that is showing shipwrecks, so I figured what the hell?  I'll combine them both...sort of. A coworker and myself, took a former coworker and (current, Lol) friend out for a going away dinner tonight.  Happy hour, good food and good drinks make for merriment and truthfully, a bit of melancholy.  It's hard to watch a friend leave, but you always have to keep in the back of your mind that they won't be gone forever.  With airplanes, cars, trains, those new fancy luxury buses I keep seeing on the freeway, anywhere is accessible.  She is only moving to Vegas, yes, a state away and four hours up the freeway, but even though I am not a big fan of Las Vegas, I am a big...

*Disclaimer:  Some Offensive (??) Language* In a day and age where an F-bomb is common place, I have to ask, what do you think of swearing?  I think I might have an addiction.  I don't walk around talking like "a sailor", but I have my moments of being a complete potty mouth, which brings to mind that scene from 'A Christmas Story' when Ralphie gets his mouth washed out with soap and daydreams about going blind.  Yeah, I never swore as a kid, well not until High School, but even then it was a sporadic 'shit', or 'dammit'.  I was never one to drop an F-bomb.  I can't swear in front of my dad (nor my mom, when she was alive), though the sporadic 'shit' might pop out.  My dad says, "whatever, you're an adult and I know you do it when I am not around."  My mama basically said the same thing, but told me, "you're a lady, you should watch how you talk."  I have been called, jokingly, Saltymarie, by a mentor o...

  I can't tell you how many people have told me to stop over thinking things throughout my life, my cousin being the most recent...yes, as of this afternoon.  I have struggled for twelve days with this blog, with 17 more days left after this entry, but part of my struggle has been that one word...over thinking.  Instead of just sitting down and writing whatever the hell comes out of my brain. I have worried about what people might think.  Swearing.  Subject matter (is it important enough) and whatever else might have crossed that path in my mind.   That said, I am taking my cousin's advice and no more over thinking.  Whatever comes out of my brain, comes out of my brain.  It's who I am.  For the most part, I am not even close to being controversial, but I can be very very random and for no reason at all.   I think part of the over thinking can go back as recent as my blog on Outlander. I was so worried about sounding like...

Today is a day of reflection, for many reasons.  Good reflection, sad reflection, victorious reflection. Today is the 71st anniversary of the Invasion of Normandy, also known as D-Day.  WWII, ugliness, power struggle.  When I think of this day, I often find myself referring back to Saving Private Ryan.  I had the opportunity to sit near two gentlemen, strangers, who were at Normandy that day.  I was just behind them and in the opening scenes I could see them wiping their eyes and remembering.  Then one of them just nodded and said "yep".  It was a clear sign that this was as close as the rest of us were going to get to seeing the horror of that day.  I'm not a fan of war.  I could never be in the military, I wouldn't survive, but I appreciate those who are and were, and the sacrifices they make to keep this world safe. Not just Americans, but our Allies as w...

*Disclaimer:  Sorry for the watermarks on the pic, but I was told to do this by a fellow blogger* I am not sure where to start.  I have written and re-written this several times and now I am at the point where I think I am over thinking this particular post.  I'll be honest, I am not sure how comfortable I am with writing this blog entry, because I don't want to come off as a fangirl, or a supreme gusher.  I promise I pass no judgments, this is just me and my comfort zone.  I'm not one to write about shows I like,  I usually save it for the critics, whether they are right or wrong (in my opinion of course), or I leave it to other fans, but something is compelling me to write about this show...well that and I am blank with idea's for my writing challenge today and this show was a topic of conversation earlier. I have told many an ear that listens, that Outlander was a happy accident for me, but to be honest, it was a que...

            Today is National Hug Your Cat.      If you can catch your cat     Hug it.   I hugged mine.     I have nothing today, so until tomorrow....Don't let Ms. Frankenkitty haunt your dreams.  

  I was born an only child, but I found while this can be a double edged sword growing up, ie, sole control of the remote control on Saturday mornings, but no one to play with when other kids aren't around, I did find that as an adult, it gave me the opportunity to fill my sibling-less void with people I handpicked.   Two people that immediately come to mind are two of my best friends that even my family refers to as my sisters.  Laura and JoAnn.   They have been my rock in different situations, gathering me up and putting me back together in their own ways. Laura suffers from RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, Aka CRPS, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome), JoAnn has been in round two of battling breast cancer for six years (first fight against cancer was in 2005).    Laura's RSD attacks the central nervous system. I know in an earlier blog post I mentioned this horrible affliction, but now I am including a link.  You really sh...

  Just when you thought this blog couldn't be any more random than it already is, I give you this.... The letter M is the 13th letter of the alphabet.  Don't ask me why I know this, I just do for some odd reason.  Maybe it's because 13 is my favorite number, or maybe it's because I was bored one day and decided to see what my entire name added up to (ie corresponding numbers to each letter of my name)...277 for the record.    Yes, I have a long name.  Twenty-five letters. There are eleven in my first name alone, yet ironically my last name has five letters. *rolls eyes*  Don't get me wrong though, I love my name. Shellymarie seems to flow nicely off the tongue, though it has been reduced to Shell in most cases.  My parent's did good. *thumbs up*   Getting back to 13, the superstition and bad luck seems to come from bad things that have been noted  through history and myths.  There are stories galore as to ...

  Most people blog about the same subject everyday. I find my blog to be rather eclectic, which at the moment, I also find annoying.  Subject matters are always on the forefront of my brain, then when I sit down to write something, poof, the word trees get stingy and keep all their good words to themselves...But, lo and behold, my dictionary app's word of the day just happens to be something fascinating, 'Jiggery-Pokery'.  Definition; Noun.  Chiefly British. 1) trickery; hocus-pocus; Fraud; humbug.  2) Chiefly British. Sly; underhanded action. 3) Chiefly British (What!?  It's Chiefly British?  Well no sh!t, the Brits always come up with the best words!), Manipulation, ex.  'after a little jiggery-pokery, the engine started.'  That sounds a wee suggestive...oh my brain.  I need to wash it out with soap.  *whistling innocently*   I have to tell you, between, Piffle, Tatterdemalion and this word, I am looking for ways to ...