Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from September, 2014

Coping in the aftermath...mama is gone...

People keep asking me, "how are you?", or they keep saying, "I can't believe how strong you are", or "how well you are holding up", but the truth is, I feel like a mess inside.  I'm no different than anyone else though. I hurt, I feel pain, I cry. I mourn, but I suffered through depression for twenty years, many of them without medication and I learned that by suppressing my feelings, they just fester and burst out like a bottle of Coke that's been shaken and the cap left on.  I'm not strong, I just have a good, tight fitting mask, that comes off every night when I crawl into bed and goes on every morning before I step out of my room. Actually I take that back. I do feel like I have gained a little bit of something I never had before, my Mama's strength and the I'm-not-going-to-take-your-sh*t-attitude.  Yeah, she wasn't big on swearing, hence the *.  I guess it is a little shout out to her, since I am sure that even though I ...